Sport provides your child with many opportunities for life lessons such as learning how to compete, commitment, physical and mental stamina, communication skills, self-esteem and teamwork. Perhaps the most important lesson, according to Sports Psychologist, T.C. North Phd, is whether or not your child is learning to be confident and empowered or one of life’s victims?

After all, how kids learn to participate in sports is how they play the game of life. Kids are taught how to participate in sports and life by their role models. The most influential role models are parents.

*Modeling the example. Which type of child are you raising?

Raising a confident/empowered child:
-    Focus on fun and the process of learning
-    Support an empowering player/coach dynamic by encouraging players to talk to their coaches. 
-    Focus on the big picture
-    Let the coach do the coaching - being a parent is hard enough
-    Teach kids to focus on what they control – their own “thoughts and actions”

Raising a victim
-    Yelling and blaming refs, coaches, administrators, the system
-    Critiquing coaches and/or intervening for your child regarding playing time, positions, tactics, practices plans, games
-    Critiquing kids – yours and others
-    Yelling instructions at your child and other’s
-    Being overly concerned with winning. Having winning be the measure of success
-    “Hovering” over practices

*Phases of Parenting an Athlete:

Practice:
-    Encourage commitment
-    Proper nutrition
-    Punctual
-    Abdicate during practice

Before Game:
-    Be calm by example
-    Don’t play the role of the coach with playing advice
-    Keep it light (Jokes, laughter)
-    Avoid giving a pre-game scouting report
-    Good meal and hydration
-    Good rest
-    Have fun
-    “I love you”

During the game:
-    Detach from results
-    Keep a low profile
-    Cheer for both teams
-    Set an example of sportsmanship with refs and other parents
-    Avoid being over protected
-    Avoid be win focused

After the game:
-    Detach from results
-    Supportive
-    Avoid creating a “fearful ride home” by analysis the game, players, coaching, refs, or result. Don’t initiate a post-game talk. Players will initiate if they are interested.
-    Good sportsmanship
-    Good food and hydration
-     “I love you”


Reference: T.C. North, Phd (303) 665-8920 (Specializes in confidence and mental toughness coaching for athletes and their parents, high-performance coaching for motivated individuals)